Posts Tagged: migraines

“Of Migraines, Perfectionism, and Strange Theology”

On August 27, 2024 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Here is an email that I sent to one of my students who asked for a brief extension on an assignment, due to her migraines. I mentioned to her that I used to suffer for them as well. She asked if I still had them. Here is my reply. (I left out her name to be careful not to violate her confidentiality.)

Dear __________,

Yes, the migraines do not afflict me now, thank you. In fact, I have very few headaches of any kind these days (even though I have a very slight one right now).

I am sorry for all your health concerns, and I realize that there are many things that can cause migraines. Even though I highly value medical professionals (my wife is a nurse), I am not sure that even the medical experts understand migraines fully.

That headache that I had for eight days was the last really severe one I’ve had. I will tell you a true story, except that I will clean it up a little, leaving out the crucial word. You can fill in the blank if you like.

When I was having this l  o  n  g  eight-day headache, I was living on Tylenol, which helped a little. Sound went through my head like a spike. My wife and kids, even if they talked in a normal tone of voice, were yelling. I could hardly keep my food down.

I was scheduled to go on a retreat to a Trappist monastery in Kentucky with a friend who was a Catholic priest, but I thought of canceling it. My wife said, “Oh, why don’t you go? It might do you good.”

When my friend arrived, he visited with Sharon for a few minutes and then we headed out for our four-day spiritual retreat. Before we had gone very far, Jerome said to me, “You’re not feeling well, are you, Daryl?”

“Oh,” I said, “I’ve had this headache for eight days, and nothing seems to help. I almost canceled on you, but Sharon said it might be a good idea for me to go.”

“Daryl,” my friend said, “what do you expect of yourself?”

I wasn’t really prepared for that question, but I thought for a moment and said, “I just want to be a good man, and I’m not.”

My friend replied, “No, you want to be perfect.”

“No, Jerome, I just want to be a good man, and I’m not.”

And then, my friend said something which not only pretty much chased the migraines away, but which has transformed my life. He said, “Sometimes I think we need an #$%?! theology. We’re all a bunch of #$%?!s, and God loves us anyway.”

My friend almost never used such language, so I was rather shocked. I also thought that it was very funny. I laughed and I cried, and then I laughed and cried some more. Within ten minutes, the headache was gone. They have never come back with such ferocity again.

___________, I don’t question that there are weighty medical issues that are causing (or at least exacerbating) your migraines. However, I wonder: Are you a perfectionist?

I believe in miracles, and I also believe that the love of God is the greatest miracle of all. Those of us who are Christ-followers give lip-service to the idea that God loves us just as we are. But we need to let that love for us—just as we are—to permeate every cell in our body. We are perfectly lovable, even in our imperfections.

By the way, now that I’ve told you this true story, I’ve noticed that my head isn’t hurting. Of course, the cup of coffee may have helped a little too.

Warm Regards and Prayers,

Daryl

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“Transforming Pain into Beauty”

On October 9, 2022 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

When I was in my thirties, I had migraines. They were especially frequent during my three years of seminary. Light was a problem, and everybody was yelling.

So, when I went to the Hyde Park Art Festival last Sunday, I was intrigued to chat with a migraine artist. Here is picture of a package of coasters I bought from her:

I haven’t had the courage yet to use these as coasters. Too pretty.

The artist, Priya Rama, has a wonderful slogan for her business: “Transforming Pain into Beauty”. When I had migraines, I never saw the beauty that she apparently does see. I saw squiggles, but they were grey.

However, I suspect that we can all transform pain into beauty in some way or another. Don’t get me wrong. Pain is still pain. But I’ve met people—real people—who found ways to transform pain into beauty.

In the midst of Judah’s exile to Babylon, the prophet Isaiah spoke the following words to a discouraged people who were in desperate pain:

“Is. 61:1          The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,

                        because the LORD has anointed me

             to bring good news to the poor;

                        he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

             to proclaim liberty to the captives,

                        and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

2           to proclaim the year of the LORD’S favor,

                        and the day of vengeance of our God;

                        to comfort all who mourn;

3           to grant to those who mourn in Zion—

                        to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

             the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

                        the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

             that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

                        the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.

4           They shall build up the ancient ruins;

                        they shall raise up the former devastations;

             they shall repair the ruined cities,

                        the devastations of many generations.

Is. 61:5            Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;

                        foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;

6           but you shall be called the priests of the LORD;

                        they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;

             you shall eat the wealth of the nations,

                        and in their glory you shall boast.

7           Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion;

                        instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot;

             therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;

                        they shall have everlasting joy.

Is. 61:8            For I the LORD love justice;

                        I hate robbery and wrong;

             I will faithfully give them their recompense,

                        and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.

9           Their offspring shall be known among the nations,

                        and their descendants in the midst of the peoples;

             all who see them shall acknowledge them,

                        that they are an offspring the LORD has blessed.

Is. 61:10          I will greatly rejoice in the LORD;

                        my soul shall exult in my God,

             for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;

                        he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,

             as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,

                        and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11         For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,

                        and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,

             so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise

                        to sprout up before all the nations.” (English Standard Version)

Apparently, God is an ancient practitioner of turning pain into beauty.

Many centuries later, Jesus would use these words (or at least some of them) as the basis of his inaugural sermon in his hometown (Luke 4:14-30). While he did not quote the bit about beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3), Jesus did speak a lot about pain. The story goes that he later took our sins, our pains, our guilts on himself at the cross. The cross, which was an ugly instrument of pain and torture, became a beautiful thing in Jesus. For those of us who are following Jesus, however stumblingly, this is the ultimate transformation of pain into beauty.

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