Posts Tagged: nightmares

“Fear Not! How Many Times Does God Have to Say It?!”

[The following post is a response to and appreciation of a post I just read at https://pastorbrett.wordpress.com/2022/01/18/does-the-bible-really-say-fear-not-365-times/#:~:text=The%20two%20word%20combo%20%E2%80%9CFEAR,a%20far%20cry%20from%20365. Check it out!]

2Tim. 1:7 for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (English Standard Version)

I had a nightmare last night. I was about to give a lecture at some prestigious biblical studies conference. The room was packed. Someone walked up to me and said, “People don’t want to hear more about the Pentateuch.” Now, the Pentateuch—the first five books of the Bible—is where I’ve done most of my scholarly work. Genesis is especially one of my ongoing loves.

But because this one person came up to me and said what he said, I decided to scrap my lecture. I announced that I was just going to talk about scholarship in general. I had no idea what I was going to say. People immediately started leaving. At first, a few people trickled out. Then, the trickle became an avalanche. Soon, I was left in a large lecture hall by myself.

Now you know why I don’t sign up to do scholarly lectures.

So, this morning for my meditation time, I decided to meditate on fear. I have heard it said that there are 365 times in the Bible when it says, “Fear not!” I thought that was neat, but I was skeptical about it. I’ve learned to be wary of neatness. If you saw my sleeping and work area, you would say an immediate “Amen!”

To find out about this 365-thing, I did what all really good biblical scholars do: I googled it. Brett Maragni quickly disabused me of this statistical myth and confirmed my suspicions: The phrase “Fear not” occurs 71 times in the King James Version. However, as Maragni wisely notes, “. . . [H]ow many times does God have to say something for us to take it seriously? ONCE should be enough.”

He goes on to say, “So, I hate to bust the bubble of all the people who love posting on social media how awesome it is that there is exactly one “FEAR NOT” / “DO NOT FEAR” command for every day of the year, but at least now they won’t have to worry about what to do on the final day of a leap year! 🙂”

“ONCE should be enough!” Yes!

Not all dreams or nightmares seem significant to me, but I suspect that this one means something. Since I was little, I have been afraid that I have nothing worthwhile to offer others. If even one person criticized me or thought me less than perfect, I was a total failure. The nightmare suggests that fear persists.

But God does indeed say, “Fear not!” So, how am going to flesh out a fearless attitude today? I am going to do a bunch of simple, but worthwhile things.

  • I am going to take the dog outside to do what she needs to do, give her a treat, and play with her for a little while.
  • I am going to put away the dishes in the drainer before Sharon gets up.
  • I am going to grade students’ papers.
  • I am going to go for a long walk.
  • I am going to text or call several 12-step friends.
  • I am going to post this.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll even sign up to do a scholarly talk somewhere.

And one more thing, dear reader. The things you do may not seem all that important to you, but I suspect they are very important to others. “Fear not” may not be as common as you and I had hoped, but it’s still a good way to live our lives for the glory of God and the benefit of others. Perhaps if we all faced our fears of insignificance during the day and countered those fears with small worthwhile actions, we would sleep nightmare-free at night.

“Nightmares & Morning Chickens”

I have fat, clumsy fingers.  So, it was with great joy that I discovered that I can dictate texts on my smart phone.  Maybe that’s why they call them “smart phones.”

However, I’m discovering that my pronunciation is not always up to snuff.  For example . . .

Yesterday morning, a 12-step friend and I were exchanging morning check-in texts.  I replied to his text that “I cherish these morning check-ins.”  At least, that is what I intended to dictate.  However, my smart-but-not-quite-smart-enough phone heard it as “I cherish these morning chickens.”

I’ve learned to read my texts before I send them.  Sometimes, I even remember to do that.  This time I remembered, but decided to send it the way it was, with a follow-up sentence that said what I really meant to say.  Humor is scarcer than toilet paper these days, and just as important.

The expression “morning chickens” took me back to my childhood growing up on the farm.  When I was little, we still kept chickens.  My job was to gather the eggs morning and evening.  I loved doing this, especially in the morning.  Mom went with me, until I was ready to fly solo.  The chickens were allowed freedom of movement, so it was great fun to hunt for the eggs.  Some of the hens lay their eggs in predictable places, and some hens were full of surprises—as well as eggs.

Morning check-ins are important for addicts.  Perhaps they are important for everyone, whether or not they are addicts.  But morning chickens matter too.  And memories of little childhood delights matter even more.  Even at a time when we realize how fragile life is, how fragile it always was.  Even when we aren’t sleeping well, and wake up to find ourselves in the middle of a nightmare.  Especially then.  I speak from experience.  I tossed and turned all night, and was plagued by nightmares.  I love early mornings, but I don’t love them this much.  In other words, it’s early, even for me.

But even in the midst of nightmares and restlessness, there are things for which to be profoundly grateful.

  • Friends who hold themselves accountable to me.
  • Friends who hold me accountable.
  • Funny stuff you didn’t intend.
  • Good memories of morning chickens.

“OF NIGHTMARES, PRIORITIES, AND SELF-WORTH”

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

I have had two dreams on successive nights, which seem to have the same theme: me trying to do too much.

On Sunday night, I dreamt that I was working at Bob Evans.  We were pretty busy.  I had three or four booths/tables that I hadn’t even acknowledged.  A fellow-server wanted to go to her apartment to pick something up she needed.  “My apartment is nearby,” she said.  So, I acknowledged my tables and told them I would be with them as soon as possible.

However, the young lady’s apartment seemed to be pretty far away, and I began wondering why on earth I had agreed to go.  What was I thinking!  Customers would get mad and leave.  I would be fired.  WHAT WAS I THINKING!!

Finally, I said to myself, “This is a dream within a dream, and I’m waking up!”

And I did.

Last night, I dreamed that I was at a restaurant (Frisch’s in Bellevue??) having breakfast after our twelve-step meeting.  We had ordered, but I left to take care of something, which of course took longer than I had thought it would take.  When I finally got back, my food was cold, and some of the guys were getting up to leave.

So much for dreams!  It occurred to me today that these dreams might mean something important.

Since I was little, I’ve been trying to pack too much into my available time.  I remember playing, knowing that I had to go to the bathroom.  I would keep on playing until . . . well, let’s just say that I didn’t always make it to the outhouse.  This was not when I was two or even three.  This was when I was five, and maybe older.

I don’t (usually) struggle with putting off going to the necessary room any more.  This is good!  However, I do tend to try to pack too much into life.  Why do I do this?  More importantly, how can I stop doing this?

God, I am asking You these questions.  I figure you are more likely to know the answers than I am.

And here is what I think God might be saying to me:

“Child, you are afraid you are going to miss something.  And, of course, you are!  How could it be otherwise?  Be content to miss some things!

“Also, you are confused about the source of your worth.  You think that the more you do, the more you are.  This is simply not true.  Your source of worth is Me: my creation of you and my redemption of you.

“As to how you stop behaving in this manner, there are two things you can do.  First, you can ask me what my priorities are for you.  Second, you can ask me to keep you on track throughout the day and throughout your days.”

POSTSCRIPT:

I called work to verify that I was scheduled to go in to Bob Evans at 4:30.  However, the manager asked me if I could possibly come in at 2:00?  I said yes.  About fifteen minutes later, it occurred to me that I didn’t ask God first.

This is going to be harder than I thought!

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