A good friend of mine prayed a wonderful prayer for me the other day over the phone.  Most weekdays we pray for our work that day and for our relationships.  We especially pray for our relationships with our wives.  So here is what my friend prayed for me the other day, in relation to my wife.  “LORD, please help him not just to be around.  Help him to be there for his sweetheart.”

Being around, vs. being there: what a wonderful distinction!  And what a difficult one to live out!  Why do I find this so difficult?

For example, I am frequently around my wife.  I am usually at home.  Now that she is retired (sort of), my wife is also usually around.  However, that does not mean that I am always there for her.  Absence comes in many forms.  Not listening deeply, not respecting her thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires, not thinking the best of her—all these are ways of not being there for her.

Being around is easy.  Being there for somewhat is exceedingly difficult.

Rod Argent, keyboardist and frequent lyricist for the group The Zombies, wrote a song that had the hook, “But she’s not there.”  He wrote the lyrics right after his fiancé called off the wedding a week before it was supposed to have taken place.

But sometimes, even married people are not really there.  At least, sometimes this married person is not really there for his sweetheart.

Being there is a crucial aspect of love and commitment.  According to the Bible God is the One who is always there for us.  Ezekiel ended his prophecies to a people who were exiled to a foreign land by speaking of the restoration of Jerusalem.  Jerusalem is even given a new name. “And the name of the city from that time on shall be, ‘The LORD Is There.’”

Even better is Psalm 139:5-12.

“⁵         You hem me in, behind and before,

                        and lay your hand upon me.

⁶           Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

                        it is high; I cannot attain it.

Psa. 139:7       Where shall I go from your Spirit?

                        Or where shall I flee from your presence?

⁸           If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

                        If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

⁹           If I take the wings of the morning

                        and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

¹⁰          even there your hand shall lead me,

                        and your right hand shall hold me.

¹¹          If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

                        and the light about me be night,”

¹²          even the darkness is not dark to you;

                        the night is bright as the day,

                        for darkness is as light with you.”

According to this psalmist, God is there, not matter where “there” is for us.  Classical Christian theologians have called this attribute God’s “omnipresence.”

But, even if we believe that God is everywhere, questions still remain.  Is God’s every-where-ness good news?  Too often we think of God merely being present in order to judge or condemn us.  Is God there for us¸ or is God simply around?

Psalm 118:6^a says, “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear.”  And Paul, after talking a lot about the mercy, grace, and forgiveness that God has shown us sinners through Jesus Christ (Romans 8:31-32), says, “What shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us?”  Who indeed!?!

However, as wonderful as it is to hear these things about God, the question remains: Am I there for those I love?  If I really believe that God is there for me, then I am called upon as his creature, made in his image, to reflect that to others.  I need to determine at the beginning of each day to be there for people.  During the day I need to ask frequently if I am being there for people.  And at the end of my day and at the end of life I need to ask the same question.  Who knows?  That may be one of the questions God will ask all of us when we stand before him.  Of course, God will already know that answer.  So will we in that moment.