Posts Tagged: regret

“. . . As Far as the East is from the West . . .”

On June 30, 2021 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“as far as the east is from the west,

       so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12, English Standard Version)

I am in the middle of a war. It is a civil war, in which I am battling my own past. But, like all civil wars, this one tends to spill over the borders and to affect the present and other people. Every day, I put on my fatigues and pick up my weapons. Some days I think I’m winning the war. Other times not so much. There are days when I suspect that shame and regret are winning.

But today, I was wandering through a bit of a scholarly work when I encountered an unexpected ally in my private war. It’s a verse from the Old Testament. It is also a good example of how other ancient Near Eastern literature can enrich our reading of the Bible. Commenting on Psalm 103:12, here is what I read. “In an Egyptian hymn to Amun-Re the deity is praised for his judgment of the guilty. As a result of the god’s discernment the guilty are assigned to the east and the righteous to the west.”[1]

Psalm 103:12 may well be using part of this Egyptian hymn. However, notice the twist: The God of Israel doesn’t separate the guilty from the innocent. Rather, God is praised for separating the guilty from their own guilt. And we’re not talking about some minor infraction that results from ignorance or inattention. No! The Hebrew word that is used, pashaˀ is the word for willful rebellion.

For those of us who, like me, have done great wrong in our past, this is radically good news. To realize that God has judged our wrong-doing and removed it—well, words have not yet been invented to describe the wonder of a such a thing. What it would cost God to remove my wrong-doings, our wrong-doings, would become apparent at the cross of Christ. There are days when I believe that my war—and the war we all fight—was won at the cross. Maybe it’s true whether or not you or I or anyone believes it. Maybe I should eliminate the maybe.

[1] John H. Walton, Victor H. Matthews and Mark W. Chavalas, The IVP Bible Background Commentary: Old Testament (Downers Grove: IVP Academic 2000), 548.

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“Bullied by a Gang of Thoughts”

On May 26, 2020 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I am just starting my “3-Minute Retreat” from Loyola Publishing. Today, as with many days, the retreat starts out with an admonition to let go of any distracting thoughts. I am not sure if I am holding on to such thoughts or if they are holding on to me. I have a lot of clingy thoughts.

Well, I should be mature enough to do this. I am in charge of my thoughts. I am bigger and meaner and more determined than they are. I refuse to be bullied by a gang of nasty, useless thoughts!

And what are the names of these gang members? Regret, Resentment, Guilt, Fear, A-Sense-Of-Worthlessness, Desire-For-More (and his twin brother Discontent).

So, I decide that, today, I’m going to stand up to these bullies. I say, to Regret (who seems to be their spokesman), “You little boys, run along. I’m moving forward, and if you try to stop me or follow me, I will hurt you.”

And so, I walk on. I look around and they are gone.

Huh! It works! I think I’ll get on with my day. Maybe you could too.

Three practical suggestions:

  1. Name the thoughts that are bullying you.
  2. Tell them to shove off.
  3. Walk in the direction of the next right thing to do.
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“Living in the moment or for the moment?”

On May 13, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Prepositions are little words that matter a lot.

For example, think of two statements that sound almost identical:

“I’m living in the moment.”

“I’m living for the moment.”

The same difference?  I don’t think so!

Living in the moment is a good thing.  In fact, when else can any of us really live?  Living in the past is another word for nostalgia or regret.  However, it can scarcely be said to be really living.

Living in the future is either fantasy or anxiety.  Again, neither of these is truly living.

The present is where it is at.  This does not apply only to an enjoyable present.  Often, the present is not enjoyable.  To pretend otherwise is not wise.

Still, to attempt to live somewhere other than where I am at any given moment is not simply unwise; it is impossible.  Being at some time that isn’t present is like being some where you’re not.

So much for the important preposition “in!”  What about “for?”

Living for the moment is another matter altogether.

This philosophy of life is encapsulated in a saying from the 1960s: “If it feels good, do it!”  I heard a speaker once say, that whenever he saw that saying on a bumper sticker, he always wanted to rear-end the car.  When the driver asked, “Why did you do that?!?” the speaker was going to say, “I just always thought it would feel good!”  I am assuming that the speaker never followed through on this fantasy.

I have often tried this approach, and it has never worked out well for me.  Perhaps this is not true of everyone, but for me, every time I’ve tried it, I have regretted it (or at least the outcome).  I’ve said the first thing that came to mind, and lost a friend, or hurt my wife.  I’ve eaten impulsively, and gained weight—as recently as yesterday!  You get the picture.

Of course, this “live-for-the-moment” approach would work very well, if in fact what felt good for the moment was truly good.  However, I do not think that feeling good can be identified with what is good.  In fact, they are frequently (though not always) sworn enemies.

I’m sure that some of my readers are saying to themselves, “Well, the good sounds pretty dismal.  I don’t think I’m interested.”  So, let me come in with a good word for the truly good.

I believe that the truly good feels good in the long term.  However, it simply does not feel good in the short term.

More about this in tomorrow’s post!

 

 

 

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What Is the Glory of God, and How Do I Glorify God?

On August 31, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

Yesterday was a difficult day, and seems to have spilled over into today.

My sweetheart gave her notice at work on Monday, and her employers (or some of them, at least) are not treating her kindly.  She is sick this morning.  This is probably caused by the intense stress she is under.

I found out about a possible teaching position on Monday, only to be told on Tuesday that there are “. . . thirty-five highly qualified applicants . . .” already.

And then, there is my guilt.  Why did I not work harder and save more earlier in my life?  Why did I sacrifice all kinds of relationships, money, opportunities, gifts, to the not-so-great god of my addiction?  Beating myself up is not helpful, but it’s such great fun.

I thought of those verses that say that we are to “glorify God in all things.”  How do I glorify God with all this stuff, I wondered.  How do I glorify God with/in the mess I’ve created?

I was also puzzled as to what the glory of God is, and how I could glorify God.  How can I glorify God, if I don’t even know what that means?   So I did what we all do: I googled it.  There were several helpful sites, but this one especially struck me.

http://founders.org/fj56/all-to-the-glory-of-god/, accessed 8-31-2016.

I glorify God by receiving from God, and by enjoying God and God’s blessings: Yes!

I can either look back with regret, or I can look up to where God sits enthroned.  Where I look will determine what I see.

So, how will I glorify God today?  I will receive from God a fresh sense of hope and purpose.  I will receive God’s reassurance that I am loved and have been forgiven.  I will receive and welcome God’s truth that I am influenced by my past, but that I am not determined by my past, and that I can choose to be influenced by my past in a redemptive manner.  My past can make me more humble and more kind to everyone.

One of the gifts God is giving me today is August 31, 2016.  I will receive it and enjoy it!  Above all, I will enjoy the God who gives me this day.

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DTEB, SURVIVING FATHER’S DAY

On June 20, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 

I have survived another Father’s Day.  That is a major accomplishment for me.  Every time that someone wished me a “Happy Father’s Day!” it was like a stake being driven through my mind and heart.

Yes, I am a dad  No, I was not a good one.  Perhaps I wasn’t quite as bad as I or my adult children think, but we can probably agree on one thing: I wasn’t a particularly good dad, and I did a lot of damage.

I console myself with several truths, which I hope are truly true.

Truth # 1: Perhaps (and it is hard to argue with “perhaps!), I did a few things right.  Along with my wife (who did all the heavy lifting), I did help give them life.  My kids can’t take that away from me, even if they would like to!

Truth # 2: I helped keep them alive until they were able to be more or less on their own.

Truth # 3: I have tried to own up to the wrong I’ve done.  I have not done this to their satisfaction, but I do not exist for their satisfaction.

Truth # 4: While I am very far indeed from the man I want to be, I am not entirely the man I used to be.

Truth # 5: That was then; this is now.

Truth # 6: Every dad I’ve ever gotten to know personally is a very flawed creature.

These truths do not console me much.  However, my suspicion is that truth does not exist in order to console.  Truth exists in order to be true.

Meanwhile, it is June 20, the day after Father’s Day and the first day of summer.  It is another day, to invest myself in God, in other people, in becoming a better version of myself.  I think that I had better get over myself and on with the tasks at hand.  Right now, I need to eat some oatmeal with blueberries and a little brown sugar and cinnamon, run two or three miles, study, pray, encourage others, prepare for Bible Lands and Life Ways, work on a review for Stone-Campbell Journal, be emotionally available to my wife.  The kind of dad I was (and was not) in the past is none of my business.  My business today is today.

That is your business, dear reader, as well.

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