Posts Tagged: restlessness

“Nightmares & Morning Chickens”

I have fat, clumsy fingers.  So, it was with great joy that I discovered that I can dictate texts on my smart phone.  Maybe that’s why they call them “smart phones.”

However, I’m discovering that my pronunciation is not always up to snuff.  For example . . .

Yesterday morning, a 12-step friend and I were exchanging morning check-in texts.  I replied to his text that “I cherish these morning check-ins.”  At least, that is what I intended to dictate.  However, my smart-but-not-quite-smart-enough phone heard it as “I cherish these morning chickens.”

I’ve learned to read my texts before I send them.  Sometimes, I even remember to do that.  This time I remembered, but decided to send it the way it was, with a follow-up sentence that said what I really meant to say.  Humor is scarcer than toilet paper these days, and just as important.

The expression “morning chickens” took me back to my childhood growing up on the farm.  When I was little, we still kept chickens.  My job was to gather the eggs morning and evening.  I loved doing this, especially in the morning.  Mom went with me, until I was ready to fly solo.  The chickens were allowed freedom of movement, so it was great fun to hunt for the eggs.  Some of the hens lay their eggs in predictable places, and some hens were full of surprises—as well as eggs.

Morning check-ins are important for addicts.  Perhaps they are important for everyone, whether or not they are addicts.  But morning chickens matter too.  And memories of little childhood delights matter even more.  Even at a time when we realize how fragile life is, how fragile it always was.  Even when we aren’t sleeping well, and wake up to find ourselves in the middle of a nightmare.  Especially then.  I speak from experience.  I tossed and turned all night, and was plagued by nightmares.  I love early mornings, but I don’t love them this much.  In other words, it’s early, even for me.

But even in the midst of nightmares and restlessness, there are things for which to be profoundly grateful.

  • Friends who hold themselves accountable to me.
  • Friends who hold me accountable.
  • Funny stuff you didn’t intend.
  • Good memories of morning chickens.
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