Posts Tagged: ruts

“Keeping Things Fresh”

On November 5, 2022 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

We talked about keeping recovery fresh today in our Zoom 12-step group. That is an important topic. Routines and rituals can be very healthy. However, they can also become another “r” word: ruts. And, as someone has said, “The only difference between a rut and a grave is depth.”

It’s not just recovery from addiction that needs to be kept fresh. Everything needs refreshing on a regular basis. Marriage, the spiritual life, work, exercise regimens, study, diet—all need to be kept fresh.

But how?

I suppose that step one is to recognize that I am responsible for staying fresh. If something in my life has become stagnant, it is not someone else’s fault. Stagnant is something I do to myself. So is fresh.

Several helpful comments were made during the meeting. One person said that he uses gratitude for things, people, and experiences to keep his recovery fresh. He also said that, when someone mentioned something that they did to improve their recovery, he would often try that out. Some things worked and some did not, but some of the things he had stolen for others had made a huge and healthy difference in his life. As I listened to the discussion and reflected on it afterward, I said to myself, “Keeping recovery fresh is an individual responsibility, but it is a together kind of task.”

And in that same vein, another person said that serving other people was the main way in which he kept his recovery fresh. If I’m feeling stale, serving others is like a fresh (and refreshing) breeze blowing through my life.

So, what am I going to do today, right now, to refresh my recovery, my marriage, my spiritual life? Well, writing this blog post was one thing. Perhaps reading this post and passing it along to someone else might be part of your own refreshment.

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“KEEPING THINGS FRESH”

On March 5, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

A friend proposed a wonderful topic the other day in my 12-step meeting: how to keep recovery fresh.  As with anything else, those of us who are in recovery from addiction can (and sometimes do) get stale.

Of course, this question is a good one for all kinds of activities and relationships, not just 12-step recovery programs.  All kinds of things can get stale: from bread to jobs, marriages, friendships, hobbies, churches—you name it.

While it was a good question that my friend proposed, I’m not so sure that I have equally good answers.  However, the wonderful thing about a good question is that it gets into your mind and rattles around in it and shakes things up.  A good question is itself a refreshing thing.

So, while I don’t necessarily have any earth-shattering insights, perhaps some random thoughts might be in order.  You can add your own.  The purpose of blogs is not to simply be read, but to provoke your own thoughts.

First, here is a thought from Heraclitus the Obscure, one of my favorite philosophers.  Heraclitus said, “No one ever steps into the same river twice.  The river has changed and so has the person who steps into it.”  There is a sense in which change and freshness are woven into the very fabric of the universe.  Perhaps freshness isn’t so much created as it is acknowledged.

But second, there are things we can do to keep our lives fresh.  And these things can also help us to refresh other people as well.

A friend of mine is taking art classes.  Somebody asked him why he was doing that.  “Are you particularly interesting in painting?” he was asked.  “No,” he replied, “I just thought it might be interesting.”

Trying new things isn’t easy, but it is refreshing.  There are some types of food that I don’t care for.  I can still order and eat them.  There are certain kinds of music that I don’t like very much.  (Hip-hop comes to mind!)  I can listen to it anyway.

I have a tremendous craving for routine.  That is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can easily become a rut.  When a routine becomes a “rut-ine,” my routine has become a problem.  Someone has said that the only difference between a rut and a grave is depth.  Yes!

One last thought: Hang around with people who can stretch you.  My wife is so good at keeping me from getting into or staying in a rut.  She likes to try new recipes, to order different things at restaurants—or even to try new restaurants.  She is a wild one!  (If it were up to me, we would always go to the same restaurants, I’m afraid.)

Cultivating new friendships as well as taking fresh approaches to old friendships is a wonderful way of stretching yourself.  As I get older, I value more or more old friendships and making new ones.

My 12-step friend’s question was itself refreshing.  Perhaps asking and savoring some new questions, as well as taking fresh approaches to old questions, is one of the best things we can do to maintain a green, growing edge in our lives.

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