A friend of mine, a former student, is struggling mightily with doubts about his salvation. He is wondering if these are lies from the evil one, designed to keep him from serving God. Here was my reply to his email.
“My Dearest Young Friend,
You have come to the right person. I have struggled with these kinds of doubts all my life. I turned 70 on April 10. I can tell you, with no fear of being wrong, that I know personally at least one person who struggles with these kinds of lies at the ripe old age of 70.
And you called the thoughts you’re thinking by their rightful name. THEY ARE LIES! But even calling them the right name doesn’t automatically make them go away.
I wonder if you and I are putting too much emphasis on our faith, rather than on the One who is Faithful. It isn’t our faith that saves us. It’s Jesus who does that. In my better moments, I realize that truth. I just need more “better moments”!
Jesus came, and lived, and died, and rose again precisely because we couldn’t save ourselves. If we couldn’t when we were sinners (and we couldn’t!), what makes us think that we can save ourselves once we’re saved. We can’t. Every part of our salvation and our sanctification are about Jesus much more than they are about us.
Whenever the devil shows up with his lies, I am training myself to tell him to take it up with Jesus—if he dares. The devil often whispers or shouts, “You ain’t such a much! If there were a grand jury convened to indict you for following Christ, there wouldn’t be enough evidence to even indict you, much less to convict you.”
And I agree with the devil at that point. I really am not such a much, and (at best) I stumble in the general direction of Jesus, like a drunken man stumbling toward his house. No, I’m not particularly holy. I struggle with gluttony, lust, pride, laziness, envy, jealousy, anger, rebelliousness, doing what I shouldn’t so that I don’t have to do what I should. You name it; I struggle with it.
I wonder if these thoughts might actually serve some useful purpose for the Kingdom of God. Perhaps the Holy Spirit could use these satanic delusions to drive us back to Jesus. Also, since so many people struggle with their own sense of significance (or rather, with their sense of insignificance), it might be good for us to recognize that we struggle too. Nobody is quite as irritatingly useless to struggling people as a person who thinks they’ve got their act together.
But the bottom line is this: The Christian life is not about you or me. It is about Christ. And we should and will be eternally grateful for this.
Do keep in touch. Keep serving Jesus as best you can. You are a gifted person. Use those gifts for the glory of God and the benefit of others, but don’t worry too much about whether you are glorifying God or benefiting others.
Warm Regards”
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