Posts Tagged: self-control

“Of Self-Control and Spontaneity”

On May 6, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

My affirmation for the week is as follows:

“Today, by God’s grace and through God’s empowerment, I am welcoming the gift of self-control.  I am consistently using that gift for my own well-being, the well-being of others, and for the glory of God.”

My sponsor responded with a thought-provoking, one line reply: “Self control can be spontaneous or a good game plan.”

My reply to my sponsor was as follows:

“That is a good thought, and provokes other good thoughts in my own noggin.

I think that, if self-control is my game plan, and if I work that game plan, then I am positioning myself to be spontaneous.

My wife is an excellent example of that to me.  She is one of the most organized, proactive people I’ve ever known.  She is also one of the most spontaneous and free-spirited people I’ve ever known.

I used to think that was a strange combination.  Now, it makes perfect sense to me.”

I once knew a lady who trained girls—and some courageous boys—in the art of etiquette and the social graces.  I had never been that interested in etiquette.  I thought it was for sissies and the “refined.”  I didn’t want to be a sissy, and I flat-out wasn’t refined.

I once confessed to the lady who trained these young people that I had never really seen the point of training in etiquette.  Now that I look back on it, I realize that I was being very insensitive at that point.  (If someone said to me, “I don’t see the point of biblical scholarship,” those would be fightin’ words.)

She was very gracious in her response, and did not answer a fool according to his folly.

“If you are at a formal dinner, and you don’t have to think about which fork to use for your salad, that frees you up to relax and have a good conversation with your companions.”

Self-control is indeed a good game plan for getting things done.  It is also a good virtue to cultivate if I want to practice the fine art of spontaneity!

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“Just Breathe”

On January 3, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer


“A man without self-control

is like a city broken into and left without walls.” (Proverbs 25:28, English Standard Version)

I have always been a very self-controlled person—in my imagination.  I regret to report that my reality has not always matched my imagination.

The Bible has a lot to say about self-control.  It also has a lot to say about its absence.  Proverbs 25:8 seems to be speaking about the serious nature of a lack of self-control.  Like most proverbs, both ancient and modern, this saying is very terse.  Here is my rather literal, wooden translation of the verse from the Hebrew:

A broken city, there is no wall;

A man who [has] no restraint of spirit (or breath).

The  last word in this proverb is very difficult to translate.  It isn’t that Hebrew scholars don’t know what it means.  The problem is that the word means too much.  It can mean wind, breath, spirit, disposition, mood, inclination,” and these are just some of the meanings of the word rûaḥ.

So, which of these meanings might fit Proverbs 25:8?  I don’t know.  However, I wonder if it isn’t better to stick with a very literal meaning here, a meaning which would have a deeper nuance as well.

So, perhaps this proverb is talking about the importance of breathing.

Now, before you write this off as too Buddhist or too new-agish, or too something else, think about it for a moment.  Breathing is fairly important.  Yes?  And it is important for all kinds of things, ranging from playing the flute to executing maneuvers in martial arts.  It is, of course, also rather important for life itself.  I found this out in a deeply experiential manner a few years ago when I couldn’t breathe due to pulmonary embolisms.   Not breathing can ruin your plans for the day.

But breathing properly, slowly, deeply, is not the easiest thing in the world to do.  Breathing can be compromised by all kinds of outside influences.  “Her beauty left me breathless.”  “I am exhausted.  Let me catch my breath.”  That sort of thing.

On the other hand, breathing—when done properly—can influence our response to outside events and people.  I have noticed that, when I am in a tense or conflictual atmosphere, when I control my breathing, I am much more able to discern what I should say or not say, do or not do.  At least, paying attention to my breathing has helped the two or three times I’ve actually done it.

We can often control our breathing.  It isn’t as easy to do as you might think.  Just try it and you will see what I mean!  But difficult is not the same as impossible.

There are several different songs entitled “Just Breathe.”  Perhaps we need to listen to those songs (as well as to Proverbs 25:28), and begin to sing along.  Today, let’s practice the fine art of breathing.

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