Posts Tagged: self-doubt

“Beyond the Same Old”

On December 14, 2021 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17, English Standard Version)

Do you feel like the same old so-and-so you’ve always been? I was feeling that way this morning. However, a phone call with a friend, some coffee, and Scripture helped me to realize that I am moving beyond the same old. (The coffee just helped me to wake up.)

You see, I often wonder if I’ve been forgiven. A lot of people think that the things I’ve done in the past are unforgivable. Sometimes, I’m afraid they are right. And sometimes, I don’t think that I have changed as much as I think I’ve changed. I have engaged in so much self-doubt over the decades that I have become self-doubt.

But then, there was this call from a friend. He is struggling with some anxiety over a good (but very demanding) change that is coming up in his life in the new year. I said to him that I would be excited for him. “Sometimes, we need to live vicariously, so I will be joyful for you.”

It occurred to me that perhaps I should practice this truth in my own life. There are people who know all my stuff who are quite sure I’ve been forgiven by God. They are also sure that I’ve changed and am changing for the better. I may have to be vicariously assured of my forgiveness through my friends.

And then, there is the Scripture. I felt the Holy Spirit (or my own subconscious?) guiding me to 2 Corinthians 5:17, the Scripture that leads off this post. I was especially struck by two things.

First, the word “all” caused my heart to stop beating—and then set it to beating again. “All things have become new”?! Really?!? So, I looked up the verse in the Greek, and sure enough, there was the word pan, as big as life and twice as beautiful! All! No exceptions!

And then there was the Greek word that is translated “have become”. It is in the perfect tense in the Greek. The perfect tense suggests two things at the same time: an action completed in the past with o  n  g  o  i  n  g  results.

Yes! So, no matter how much I may feel that I am still the same old person with the same old unforgiveable flaws, it is not so. I need to move beyond the same old, since, in the mind of the Almighty and Compassionate One, I have been transformed with ongoing results.

So are you, dear friends! It’s time to wake up, with or without coffee.

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“WRESTLING WITH A PROJECT . . . AND MYSELF”

On April 2, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 

Monday, April 2, 2018

I am not so much trying to write a decent scholarly paper on Ruth and Mary, as I am trying to write a decent version of Daryl.

But I have writer’s block.  And the block is also named Daryl.  I never believe that I’ve read enough, that I’ve thought enough, that I know enough (that I am enough) to write something worthwhile.  This was true for the first paper I ever wrote in high school.  It was true for all my college papers.  It was true for my Ph.D. dissertation.  It is still true.

Am I really struggling to write and be something “worthwhile?”  Or do I mean “perfect?”

So, as I listen to a song on You Tube, I wrestle with my own self-expectations.  (I love Terry Wollman’s song “Survive”!)

Of course if you wrestle with yourself, you are bound to lose.  Perhaps surviving this wrestling match is the name of the game.  Or, better, perhaps the name of the game is surrender to God?

 

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