DTEB, “Solitary Confinement?  Not Really!”

“I found solitary confinement the most forbidding aspect of prison life. There is no end and no beginning; there is only one’s mind, which can begin to play tricks. Was that a dream or did it really happen? One begins to question everything.”

Nelson Mandela (https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/solitary-confinement.html, accessed April 16, 2020)

This isolation, this sheltering-in-place, this whatever-you-may-call it, is not really solitary confinement.  Hopefully, it is as close to that as many of us (hopefully) will get.  This isolation that we are going through is not solitary confinement, but it is still a serious problem.  It is, at the same time, a wonderful opportunity.

First, let me acknowledge what we all already know: What we are all going through is a problem.  In America, many of us like to pretend that we can get along very well without other people.  Men are especially prone to do this.  I’ve never been able to do it very well.  This was one of the things that caused me to question my masculinity.

The problem with this approach to life—and with our current way of living our lives—may be stated very simply: We are made to be with other people.  Johnny Cash said it very well in a song.  “Flesh and blood needs flesh and blood, and your love’s what I need.”

Now, you can understand this need in a variety of ways, several of which may be quite valid.  Evolutionary biologists might speak of our need for other people in order for us to survive.  Psychologists might speak similarly of “the herd instinct.”  The Bible tells us that God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone,” and so created the animals to keep the man company.  This did not quite fill the bill, so God created the woman.  Any way you understand it, we need other people.  Anyone who says otherwise is lying to himself and to you.

So, this isolation is a problem.  It goes against a very basic human need.  Even introverts, who value greatly their alone time, still need other people.

But this fellowship of isolation that we are going through right now is also an opportunity.  In fact, it is a whole bevy of opportunities.

• Opportunity #1: We can get better acquainted with our neighbors.  I have had more conversations, and deeper conversations with my neighbors than I’ve ever had with them before.  Sometimes, six feet is more intimate than a hug.
• Opportunity #2: We can figure out what really matters to us, and to those we love.  Though retired, I struggled to find time to do this until covid-19 came knocking at the door.
• Opportunity #3:  We can learn how to be still.  I never outgrew the fidgety little boy I used to be.  What a wonderful remedial class in stillness this isolation provides!
• Opportunity #4:  We can get better acquainted with our own deepest selves.  I find that I often use companionship and outward activities like a drug.  I am trying to avoid getting to know my weaknesses and my strengths.  Knowing my weaknesses would invite dependence on God and other people for help in working with them.  I don’t want that!  And if I know my strengths, I might have to actually do something to make use of them.

I’m sure you can think of other ways in which this isolation can be an opportunity.  Feel free to email me your thoughts or leave them as comments.

However, a final word, which is also a warning: You can, like me, probably think of a lot more ways in which this isolation is a problem.  That is as useless as it is easy.  However, problems are not “faced” simply by listing them and then marinating in them.  Doing something positive for yourself and others is the name of the game.