Posts Tagged: speaking the truth
“Speaking the Truth in Love”
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,” (Ephesians 4:15, English Standard Version)
Yesterday, our pastor spoke about “little” lies. I think that his sermon could probably be boiled down to three words: There aren’t any! There aren’t any little lies, that is. Of course, there are lots of lies.
In our community group last night, we talked about lies and about how difficult it is to tell the truth. It is also difficult to hear the truth.
I pointed out that, in Ephesians 4:15, Paul tells the church that they/we are to “speak the truth in love.” I really wish that he hadn’t said that. Speaking the truth is really hard. Loving is really hard. When you put the two together, you are challenging people to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while walking a tight rope blindfolded over a lake full of hungry alligators.
So how do I speak the truth in love? I don’t know, but I will share a few suspicions with you.
In the first place, I need to be sure that I am speaking the truth. I have a tendency to say that I am speaking the truth, when in reality, I am simply spewing my opinion.
Second, I need to make sure that my “truth” is really truth, and not simply facts.
But aren’t truth and facts the same thing?
Nope! At least, not always.
Truths are always deep and important. Indeed, truths are vital. They are a matter of life and death.
Facts may be important, but often they are pretty trivial. If my wife is telling me about something that happened on Wednesday, but she says that it happened on Thursday, I don’t need to tell her “the truth.” Who cares?!
Now, of course, in a court of law, that fact (Wednesday or Thursday) could be the difference between a guilty verdict or an acquittal. Facts do matter in some situations. But in most cases, truth and facts are not the same thing. If I get confused about that, both love and truth go out the window.
Third, if I am to speak the truth in love, I need to ask and answer several questions:
- What is my motivation? Do I really value the other person, and that is why I need to tell them the truth?
- Do I have a close enough and good enough relationship with this person to speak the truth to him/her in such a way that they may be receptive to that truth? (Note that I said “. . . may be receptive . . . . There are no guarantees.)
- Is this the best time and are these the best circumstances to speak this truth to this person? A person has to be somewhat ready to hear the truth. We may or may not be able to discern timing. We need to lean heavily on the wisdom of God with regard to the matter of timing.
A final thought: Perhaps, before we don our armor, jump on our steed, and join in the battle for truth, we need to practice on ourselves. Maybe we should tell ourselves the truth, but do so in a loving manner. But that is a subject for another day, perhaps for tomorrow’s blog post.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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