Posts Tagged: spring

“On Falling Leaves, Death, and Life”

On November 12, 2021 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“When the white eagle of the North

Is flying overhead

And the browns, reds and golds of autumn

Lie in the gutter, dead

Remember then, the summer birds

With wings of fire flaying

Come to witness Spring’s new hope

Born of leaves decaying

As new life will come from death

Love will come at leisure

Love of love, love of life

And giving without measure

Gives in return a wondrous yearn

Of a promise almost seen

Live hand-in-hand

And together we’ll stand

On the threshold of a dream….” (The Moody Blues, from their 1969 album “On the Threshold of a Dream”)

I was watching a leaf falling from a tree on a beautiful, warm day in November. I had just gotten word that a good friend had died. I’ll call him “John”. This is not his real first name. We try to be very protective of people’s privacy in our groups. We were part of a group for mutual support and accountability.

John had a severe stroke two weeks ago. He died on November 10. When I got the word that I did not want to hear, I went outside for a good cry. And then, there was this leaf, this beautiful golden leaf falling slowly to the ground.

The tree didn’t seem to be upset about this. But then, I don’t understand the language of trees.

John was always encouraging to me and very insightful. He was a leader in our group, and I doubt that we can replace him. Perhaps no one can ever really be replaced. He loved his wife, his children, and his grandchildren. Often, John struggled to love and value himself. Most of us can identify with that.

This morning, I read the news that Graeme Edge, the drummer for the Moody Blues, had died. He wrote and spoke the words that lead off this post. In the poem, Edge speaks of remembering summer and hoping toward spring. Yes! And amen!

There is a rumor that is occasionally heard—and more often dismissed—that there is a life beyond this one. I struggle to believe that sometimes. I take heart from the fact that God’s people in both the Old and New Testaments also struggled to believe it. Struggling to believe something is not a sign that it is either true or false.

But since I usually struggle more to believe what turns out to be true, I suspect that there really is a life after this one. John was determined to live his life with integrity and to help others to do so as well. He certainly helped me. He was preparing himself for living well in this life and in the next life, although he entered it much sooner than any of us wanted.

R.I.P. John and Graeme.

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“DOING AWAY WITH MYSELF”

On March 25, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

DTEB, “DOING AWAY WITH MYSELF”

 

“A man who is wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.” (Source unknown)

“Selfishness—self-centeredness!  That, we think, is the root of our troubles.  Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows, they retaliate.  Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.”  (Alcoholics Anonymous, The Big Book, p. 62, italics mine)

I like to think of myself as a fairly generous, compassionate person.  Today, before worship even began, I realized that everything I had ever done or wanted to do that was good has been about me.

The worship music spoke of what God had done for us in Christ.  It was wonderful music, but I couldn’t sing much.  I was too busy trying to hold back the tears.  I hoped to hear something encouraging in the sermon.  I didn’t.  The pastor talked about compassion.  Talking about compassion to a person who just realized his own core selfishness is like pouring water on a drowning man.

At the end of the worship service, there was an invitation to come forward for prayer.  I wanted to, but felt that I was just too far gone in my selfishness.  I felt so lost in myself.

However, afterwards I found one of the elders at the church with whom I have a good relationship, broke down crying, and asked him to pray for me.  (Nothing wrong with the rest of our elders; I just know Gary better.)

My first generous act was to give away my “secret” (??) about being so selfish.  Hey, feeble generosity is better than no generosity at all.

And afterwards, I felt so much better.  I also felt that, perhaps, even though everything I had ever done had been tainted by my me-ness, there had been some genuine generosity in some of it.  The seeds—or at least the desire—had been there in me all along.  But the ground was too frozen or too hard for the seeds to germinate.

However, spring is here, no matter how much it may look or feel like winter.  Time to break up the soil a bit.  Time to tend the seeds.  Time to begin to harvest generosity.

I can’t do away with myself, but I can allow my generous God to do something with me!  I have repeatedly shown myself incapable of whole-hearted generosity.  However, with God, all things are possible.  Not easy.  Just possible.

I grew up on a two-hundred-acre farm in Adams County.  We had a huge garden.  One year, there wasn’t much (if any) rain, and the ground was very hard and crusty.  The lima beans weren’t able to push their way through the hard soil.  My dad bent down and began carefully scraping off the crust, allowing the lima beans to pop up.

I have a Heavenly Father, too.  He doesn’t really want to do away with me.  He doesn’t want me to do away with myself.

What does He want?

He wants me to allow Him to scrape away my hard, crusty soil.  He wants to allow the seeds of generosity to germinate and grow.

He wants that for all of us.

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