Posts Tagged: stress

“OF PONYTAILS AND FRAGILITY”

On December 3, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

So, I was at the bank, and fell into a conversation with a friendly fellow-customer, who was teasing the tellers.  They teased him right back, and he seemed to take it well.

He had a long, grey ponytail.  I’ve admired guys who can grow ponytails for quite some time, so I said, “I like your ponytail, and would like to grow one myself.”  Then I added, untruthfully, “But every time I threaten to do it, my wife threatens to leave me.”  I quickly added, “No, I’m making up that part.  I don’t think she would like it, but I don’t think she would leave me over it, either.  But I really would like to grow one.  Not joking about that.”

Mr. Ponytail said, “My wife and I have been married for nineteen years, and were together for ten years before we got married.  She said that she would leave me if I did cut off my ponytail.”

We laughed, but then he added, “I buried her three months ago.”

“Oh my!”  I said.  “I am so sorry.  And I am so sorry that I was speaking lightly about things.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” he said, “you had no way of knowing that.”

We never know how fragile anyone is.  We never know their struggles or their sadnesses.

Come to find out, the guy at the bank had buried his father also.  It was two months to the day after he had buried his wife.

Let me say it again: We never know how fragile anyone is.  We never know their struggles and their sadnesses.

So, how would it be if we simply treated everyone with courtesy, with thoughtfulness, with compassion?

That’s not easy to do, even when we know a person very well, and know that the person is fragile.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine had a meltdown.  No wonder.  This is a person who has enough sadness and stress right now to sink a battleship.  I know this, for a fact.

And yet, when my friend had a meltdown in my presence, I was not available.  I was not compassionate.  I was preoccupied with my own little self.  I blew it.

We all need to be in touch with our fragility.  But we also need to have some attentive compassion left over others who are also fragile.

I may never be able to grow a ponytail, but I can do something a lot more difficult and important.  I can cultivate compassion for fragile people.  And, when all’s said and done, we’re all fragile.

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KEEPING A SWEET ATTITUDE IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS  

On August 17, 2016 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 

Keeping a sweet attitude in difficult situations is not easy.  However, it is very important.

Last night, the dish guy didn’t show up to work his shift.  My manager made a bunch of calls, but nobody could/would come in.

So, I volunteered.  Fortunately, I had only worked at that job for an hour, when my manager pulled me off.  “We need you on the floor, serving,” he said.  I didn’t argue!  I have a lot more appreciation for dish people now.

Sure enough, we were very busy in the dining room, with a lot of guests.  The whole evening was like that, until about forty-five minutes before closing time, when we went fairly dead.

Then, there was a massive amount of bussing, out-work, and silverware to do.  By the time this sixty-five-year-old body was out the door at 10:20, it was aching from the waist down.

But I think (hope?) that I kept a sweet attitude in all this.  That is important for a number of reasons.

A sweet attitude honors the guests.  They should be made to feel appreciated, no matter how busy or stressful or chaotic things are for me/us.  Who knows what they are going through?  Perhaps they’ve recently lost a loved one or a job, maybe they are struggling with depression, or they may have just had a really stressful day themselves.  A caring and calm attitude on my part may help turn their evenings around.

A sweet attitude may be helpful to my fellow food service folks.  Getting out of sorts with guests, with my coworkers, or myself is dishonoring to those I work with.  Just as with our guests, I don’t know what they are struggling with, either.  I know my own problems and struggles.  I should suspect that my coworkers have their own problems and struggles, which may be far worse than my own little issues.

A sweet attitude honors myself.  I feel worse when I become stressed and crabby.  Why should I do something that makes me feel even worse?

Finally, keeping a sweet attitude honors God.  If God lovingly accepts me as I am, with all my past horrendous sins and crimes against humanity, if God lovingly accepts me now, with all my only-too-real failings, then why shouldn’t my attitude be sweet?

Oh, don’t get me wrong: It isn’t easy.  It isn’t for me, and it isn’t for you.  Sweet fruit is not native to my personal climate.  It probably takes a lot of cultivation and nurturing in your soul-garden as well.  The only thing I can do is to continually pray that God will nurture a sweet spirit within me, and expect God to come through.  But the desire to have a sweet spirit is at least a beginning.

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