“When the white eagle of the North
Is flying overhead
And the browns, reds and golds of autumn
Lie in the gutter, dead
Remember then, the summer birds
With wings of fire flaying
Come to witness Spring’s new hope
Born of leaves decaying
As new life will come from death
Love will come at leisure
Love of love, love of life
And giving without measure
Gives in return a wondrous yearn
Of a promise almost seen
Live hand-in-hand
And together we’ll stand
On the threshold of a dream….” (The Moody Blues, from their 1969 album “On the Threshold of a Dream”)
I was watching a leaf falling from a tree on a beautiful, warm day in November. I had just gotten word that a good friend had died. I’ll call him “John”. This is not his real first name. We try to be very protective of people’s privacy in our groups. We were part of a group for mutual support and accountability.
John had a severe stroke two weeks ago. He died on November 10. When I got the word that I did not want to hear, I went outside for a good cry. And then, there was this leaf, this beautiful golden leaf falling slowly to the ground.
The tree didn’t seem to be upset about this. But then, I don’t understand the language of trees.
John was always encouraging to me and very insightful. He was a leader in our group, and I doubt that we can replace him. Perhaps no one can ever really be replaced. He loved his wife, his children, and his grandchildren. Often, John struggled to love and value himself. Most of us can identify with that.
This morning, I read the news that Graeme Edge, the drummer for the Moody Blues, had died. He wrote and spoke the words that lead off this post. In the poem, Edge speaks of remembering summer and hoping toward spring. Yes! And amen!
There is a rumor that is occasionally heard—and more often dismissed—that there is a life beyond this one. I struggle to believe that sometimes. I take heart from the fact that God’s people in both the Old and New Testaments also struggled to believe it. Struggling to believe something is not a sign that it is either true or false.
But since I usually struggle more to believe what turns out to be true, I suspect that there really is a life after this one. John was determined to live his life with integrity and to help others to do so as well. He certainly helped me. He was preparing himself for living well in this life and in the next life, although he entered it much sooner than any of us wanted.
R.I.P. John and Graeme.
The other day, in my daily report to my twelve-step sponsor, I included my daily affirmation:
Today, by God’s grace, I am living a balanced and healthy life all around—spiritually, relationally, mentally, work-wise, and physically. Today, I am balance.
With a nod to one of our favorite musical groups, The Moody Blues (and their albumn “A Question of Balance”), Bob replied as follows:
“No Question of Balance?
Wishing you a well balanced day.”
Another twelve-step friend and I often pray for one another for balance. Ironically, after my e mail exchange with my sponsor, another friend pointed out something obvious this morning. It was, in fact, so obvious that I had never thought of. “Sometimes, we pursue balance in a very unbalanced way.”
True that !
Aristotle and others have lauded “the golden mean” as the ideal for human virtue. For example, go too far in the direction of courage, and you become reckless. Go too far in the direction of caution, and you become cowardly.
But what if the golden mean—that is, balance itself—becomes an unbalanced obsession? At this point, a body is in serious trouble. Obsession with balance is not balance. It is simply another obsession.
I doubt that anyone is born balanced. My wife and I had four little creatures we helped to bring into the world. I don’t remember that any of them were very balanced when they were learning to sit up. The same when they were learning to walk.
And then there were the teen years, not a stage in life known for balance for any of us.
So, how do I—how do we—pursue balance in a balanced manner? It is much easier for me to raise the question of balance than it is for me to answer it. Perhaps that, in and of itself, is an important affirmation. Perhaps my sponsor’s tongue-in-cheek allusion to The Moody Blues “A Question of Balance” is part of the answer to my dilemma concerning balance. Balance will always be a questionable quest.
That said, one possible way of thinking about balance is in terms of riding a bike. I came very late to riding a bike. I was probably in the third or fourth grade before I learned to ride.
Why was I so late learning how to ride? Now that I think about it, there were at least two reasons that were somewhat different and somewhat related.
First, I lived on a farm with uneven ground and a (sometimes) graveled driveway. Such rough terrain is not natural bike country, especially for a beginner.
I have discovered that life itself is rough terrain. There are lots of environmental realities that make balance a challenge. It is best to recognize them. As someone has said, “Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean that people really aren’t out to get you.” It is not always our fault that balance is often difficult to pursue in a balanced manner.
But the second reason I was late in learning to ride a bike is something that is more personal and harder to confess: I was afraid. I was sure that I was going to fail, that I was going to fall. Why start something when you know you’re going to fail?
Sure enough, I did fall—a lot. However, in the process of processing numerous falls, I discovered something: Falling and failing are not the same thing. And before long, I was riding a bike pretty well!
One further thought: Riding a bike is never a matter of perfect balance. Rather, it is a matter of a lot of mid-course corrections. You lean to the left, you lean to the right. You lean forward, you lean back. Balance is making a lot of small changes in what you’re doing.
And, of course, it is nigh on impossible to balance on a bicycle when I’m not in motion. If I become obsessed with balance, I’m like a kid sitting on a bike, but not going anywhere. If I am in motion in the direction I think God wants me to go, balance will still be a challenge. But it will be possible.
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