Posts Tagged: twelve-step affirmations

“Of Mistakes and Integrity: Jeff”

On October 7, 2021 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“May integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for you.” (Proverbs 25:21, English Standard Version)

As a recovering addict, I use daily affirmations in order to keep myself more or less on track. My affirmation yesterday was as follows:

“Today, by God’s grace, I am expecting to make mistakes, and expecting others to make mistakes too. Neither my mistakes nor those of others define who we are in God’s eyes.”

Little did I know how that affirmation would play out during the day!

In the afternoon, my wife and I heard a strange rattling sound outside. The trash collectors and recycling team had already come and gone, so we weren’t sure what had happened. A couple of minutes later, the answer rang our doorbell. And the answer had a name: Jeff.

It seems that Jeff had knocked over our mailbox. That happened a few years ago, and the driver drove on. I had to replace the mailbox at my own expense. In view of how narrow the road is and how close to the road the mailbox is, the surprising thing is that the mailbox has only been hit twice in the seventeen plus years that we’ve lived here.

Mistakes happen. Mine, yours, everybody’s. Most of the time, we just keep going. Jeff didn’t. Why? Because that was the way his dad had raised him.

Integrity doesn’t mean not making mistakes. Integrity means having the courage to admit them and, as best you can, making things right. In this case, “Jeff” was another name for integrity.

Eighteen years ago, I came clean with people I had harmed with my addiction. It was and is a costly process. There are people whom I love who no longer speak to me. There are people who believe that I have not come clean about everything. That is an understandable belief. It is also wrong.

But here is the conclusion I’ve come to: Integrity—at any price—is a bargain. The opposite of integrity (or wholeness) is scatteredness. And who wants to be scattered and blowing in the wind? We need more Jeffs in the world. We need to make sure we are being more like Jeff.

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“PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST THIRD”

On February 26, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I crafted a 12-step affirmation that I thought was pretty well-worded.  Whether it really is or not, only eternity will tell.  And even if it was well-worded, the crucial matter is whether I actually live out my affirmation.

In any case, here is the affirmation:

“Today, by God’s grace and with God’s help, I am a kind and diligent person who puts loving God first, loving people second, and putting first things first, third.”

Putting first things first assumes that life is made up of things: objects and activities.  But what if life is made up of people—a God who is a person and people who are . . . well, . . . people?  Perhaps all “things”, all objects and activities, are related to God and other people, either for good or for ill.  And, of course, I need to remember what Radar O’Reiley said: “Hey!  Animals are people too, ya know!”

Jesus reduced all the commandments to two.  Neither of them is primarily related to things.  Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, but he answered with two commandments: Love God (Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:37; Mk. 12:30; Lk. 10:27), and love your neighbor (Lev. 19:18; Matt. 22:39; Mk. 12:31; Lk. 10:27).

So, where does putting first things first come in?  Perhaps it doesn’t!  There are really only two “things” that ought to come first—loving God and loving others.

In a sense, putting first things first is a good time management technique, but it should not be mistaken for my priorities.  My priorities are (or at least should be) God and people.  Only when those are my priorities can I fruitfully seek to put first things first.

To say it another way, a good question to ask myself throughout the day is this: Am I putting loving God and loving people first?  If I am doing that, I am indeed putting first (non)things first.  And at that point, everyone and everything receives his/her/its proper due.

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“NAKED TO THE NOW”

On July 1, 2017 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

 “Today, by God’s grace, I will choose to live in the NOW.  I will enjoy the NOW as much as is possible, but endure whatever pain or discomfort there is in the NOW when necessary.”  (My personal 12-step affirmation for July 1, 2017.)

“It [i.e., prayer] offers itself naked to the now . . . .”  (Richard Rohr, meditation for June 30, 2017.)

I had crafted and sent my personal, 12-step affirmation to my sponsor before I read Rohr’s meditation for June 30.  I was quite struck by his emphasis on “the now,” especially in light of my affirmation.

Being naked is not an easy thing to be.  I have certainly never been comfortable being “naked to the now.”  I remember being nostalgic when I was nine years old.

And of course, the future is a huge distraction.  I used to wonder if I would be a success in the future?  I have no clue about that.  (On second thought, maybe I do have a clue: My wife said last night that she loved me more than ever.  How can I possibly be anything but a success, when my lady says she loves me more than ever?)

We sometimes speak of someone “facing an uncertain future.”  My question is, who doesn’t face an uncertain future?

But as painful as my own past choices and their consequences are, and as uncertain as the future is, I still try to avoid the now.

Why?

Perhaps I need to figure that out.

So, in the now, I am writing this post, sipping coffee that is swiftly getting cold, and watching the trees bending in occasional breezes.  The sky looks like rain.  My wife and I are going for a day trip, and I need to fix us some oatmeal.  What’s wrong with any of that?

Dear readers, I hope you can either endure your now or enjoy it.  I wish you an enjoyable and endurable NOW!

 

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