Posts Tagged: warning light

“Guilt Prolongs the Problem”

On February 8, 2019 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer


Here is a meditation for addicts that I read just this morning.  This is a Hazelden reading from a book by Melody Beattie that everyone in the world should take buy and read until it has disintegrated.  We should also put a lot of her good suggestions into daily practice until they becomes part of who we are.  Here is today’s reading from her book on Hazelden’s “Thought for the Day” (https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/thought-for-the-day, accessed 02-08-2019).

“Friday, February 8

Letting Go of Guilt 

Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we’re off course. Then its purpose is finished.

 Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.

We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don’t have to feel guilty. Even if we’ve done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.

Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.”

(From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.)

I was especially struck by her statements that “. . . extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem.  So make an amend.  Change a behavior.  Then let guilt go.”

When I choose to prolong guilt, rather than choosing to make an amend to someone and to change my behavior, I am simply adding one more wrong thing to feel guilty about—my guilt.  Guilt itself becomes one more wrong behavior whenever I do not address honesty the wrong behavior that gave rise to the guilt.  Prolonging guilt is merely a way for me to avoid the hard work of trusting God, asking for forgiveness, and doing the next right thing.  Real guilt is good.  Prolonged guilt is not.

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