Posts Tagged: What you resist persists.
“On Aging Well”
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith “‘A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!’”
(Robert Browning, “Rabbi Ben Ezra”)
I am not aging well, and it’s my own fault. As someone has said, “Aging is inevitable. Getting old is optional.” I am definitely getting old.
Why am I getting old, rather than aging well? There are at least two reasons, I suspect.
For one thing, I am resisting the natural process of aging. “What you resist persists,” we say in 12-step work. However, when I resist natural processes like aging, the frustration with the process doesn’t simply persist. It grows. Furthermore, since I believe that it is God who ordained the process of aging (at least since the Garden of Eden), when I resist aging, I am resisting God. Resisting God can be done, I believe, but it takes a lot of energy and does not serve me well.
Second, in addition to wearing myself out resisting God and the process of aging, I am not taking care of my mind, soul, spirit, and body as I should. I am not eating wisely, not exercising regularly, not sleeping well, not reading the Sacred Scriptures enough, not reading other good things enough, not listening to really good music, not laughing enough, not praying, not meditating, not serving and being kind to others enough. I am playing way too much online chess, reading way too much bad news, not getting enough fresh air and time in nature. I am not present enough with Sharon and Laylah and friends. I am not present enough with God.
But it seems to me that this confession is the beginning of a new leg of my renewal and my recovery of my better self. No problem can ever be solved that has not been fully faced. Within this confession—even within the rather negative bits of it—are the seeds of some very positive changes that I can make on a day-to-day, moment-by-moment basis.
Today, I begin the process of learning to age more gracefully.
“Thought Substitution”
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, English Standard Version)
I sometimes struggle with inappropriate and unhealthy thoughts of various flavors. When I’m doing that, I often get trapped into trying not to think those thoughts. This is always a mistake. It has long been known that you can’t not think about something. The classic example is the pink polka-dot elephant. If someone tells you not to think about a pink polka-dot elephant, suddenly your whole mental universe seems to be populated with brightly colored pachyderms.
So, why is that, even knowing this, I so often get caught in these hellish mental echo chambers? It occurred to me just this afternoon that I am often telling myself that I should be able to not think unhealthy thoughts. In other words, I am struggling with pride, not just unhealthy thoughts. And the more I struggle with pride and my thought life, the less I have to be proud of. Awareness of what is going on in my (sometimes) crazy brain is a good thing. Focusing on these thoughts is not.
I wonder if the Apostle Paul was driving at this very thing when he wrote the words that lead off this post. Perhaps the Philippian believers were thinking unhealthy thoughts and then getting even sicker as they tried not to think about unhealthy thoughts. It is certainly possible. It may not always be the case, but I suspect that, as a general rule, if Paul said that believers ought to do something, it was because they weren’t doing that particular something. Perhaps the folks to whom Paul is writing this letter was struggling with focusing their mind on the wrong things.
We have a saying in twelve-step programs that what you resist persists. I think I’ll try peaceful non-resistance with my own mind. After all, nobody really wins a civil war with his or her own mind.
DOWN TO EARTH BELIEVER
- DTEB, “Getting Christ and Ourselves Back in Focus” November 11, 2024“Col. 3:1 ¶ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Col. 3:2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:3 For you have died, and your life is hidden […]
- “Search Me!” October 27, 2024“Psa. 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, English Standard Version) I am participating in a Bible study, and this is a prayer […]
- “Christian Speech” October 26, 2024“Eph. 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Foulkes, in his excellent commentary on the Book of Ephesians, writes the following, which I quote at some length: “29. Now the […]
- “God is in the Details” October 11, 2024“The devil is in the details.” (A general saying, often quoted by lawyers, reporters, and negotiators.) “God is in the details.” (Me, almost certainly not original.) “Luke 12:7 Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Jesus) God does not micromanage, but God […]
- “Grandma’s Pump” October 8, 2024When I was a little critter, I would stay at my grandma’s house for a night or two sometimes. I liked this for a lot for many reasons. One thing I liked about staying with her was that Grandma’s house was much more technologically advanced than ours was. For one thing, she had indoor water—sort […]
- “Wearing the #14 Wrong-Side-Out” October 5, 2024Pete Rose, #14, is dead. Many of the old guys with whom I play softball watched him play and appreciated him greatly. I do as well. He was one of the greatest players who ever played the game. Yes, he admitted (eventually) to betting on baseball. But many of us still regard him as one […]
- “Passing Along the Love (and a Link)” October 4, 2024Several years ago, a friend of mine put me onto a daily meditation by Richard Rohr and friends. I don’t read them all the time, but I probably should. They are good! I thought that today’s writing was especially good, and I also figured that this would be a good way to post something. I […]
- “Witnessing Versus Being Witnesses” September 19, 2024“Acts 1:1 In the first book, O Theophilus, I have dealt with all that Jesus began to do and teach, Acts 1:2 until the day when he was taken up, after he had given commands through the Holy Spirit to the apostles whom he had chosen. Acts 1:3 He presented himself alive to them after […]
- “A Bathroom Prayer for Hurting Hands” September 11, 2024A week ago Sunday, my hands were hurting so badly at church that I went to the bathroom to run hot water over my hands. Arthritis perhaps, or carpal tunnel, or general orneriness—I don’t know why my hands hurt, but they do. They have for years. So, while I was running hot water over my […]
- “Waiting and Seeking” September 10, 2024“Lam. 3:19 ¶ Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall! Lam. 3:20 My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me. Lam. 3:21 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Lam. 3:22 ¶ The steadfast love of the LORD […]
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