Posts Tagged: What you resist persists.

“On Aging Well”

On September 14, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in His hand

Who saith “‘A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!’”

(Robert Browning, “Rabbi Ben Ezra”)

I am not aging well, and it’s my own fault. As someone has said, “Aging is inevitable. Getting old is optional.” I am definitely getting old.

Why am I getting old, rather than aging well? There are at least two reasons, I suspect.

For one thing, I am resisting the natural process of aging. “What you resist persists,” we say in 12-step work. However, when I resist natural processes like aging, the frustration with the process doesn’t simply persist. It grows. Furthermore, since I believe that it is God who ordained the process of aging (at least since the Garden of Eden), when I resist aging, I am resisting God. Resisting God can be done, I believe, but it takes a lot of energy and does not serve me well.

Second, in addition to wearing myself out resisting God and the process of aging, I am not taking care of my mind, soul, spirit, and body as I should. I am not eating wisely, not exercising regularly, not sleeping well, not reading the Sacred Scriptures enough, not reading other good things enough, not listening to really good music, not laughing enough, not praying, not meditating, not serving and being kind to others enough. I am playing way too much online chess, reading way too much bad news, not getting enough fresh air and time in nature. I am not present enough with Sharon and Laylah and friends. I am not present enough with God.

But it seems to me that this confession is the beginning of a new leg of my renewal and my recovery of my better self. No problem can ever be solved that has not been fully faced. Within this confession—even within the rather negative bits of it—are the seeds of some very positive changes that I can make on a day-to-day, moment-by-moment basis.

Today, I begin the process of learning to age more gracefully.

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“Thought Substitution”

On July 15, 2023 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8, English Standard Version)

I sometimes struggle with inappropriate and unhealthy thoughts of various flavors. When I’m doing that, I often get trapped into trying not to think those thoughts. This is always a mistake. It has long been known that you can’t not think about something. The classic example is the pink polka-dot elephant. If someone tells you not to think about a pink polka-dot elephant, suddenly your whole mental universe seems to be populated with brightly colored pachyderms.

So, why is that, even knowing this, I so often get caught in these hellish mental echo chambers? It occurred to me just this afternoon that I am often telling myself that I should be able to not think unhealthy thoughts. In other words, I am struggling with pride, not just unhealthy thoughts. And the more I struggle with pride and my thought life, the less I have to be proud of.

I wonder if the Apostle Paul was driving at this very thing when he wrote the words that lead off this post.  Perhaps the Philippian believers were thinking unhealthy thoughts and then getting even sicker as they tried not to think about unhealthy thoughts. It is certainly possible. It may not always be the case, but I suspect that, as a general rule, if Paul said that believers ought to do something, it was because they weren’t doing that particular something.

We have a saying in twelve-step programs that what you resist persists. I think I’ll try peaceful non-resistance with my own mind. After all, nobody really wins a war with his or her own mind.

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