“The Hardest Someone to Forgive”
Here is part of a 12-step reading from Hazelden Publishing:
“Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it
daily will ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love.
First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap
recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to
love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We’ve come full
circle – and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will change our
perceptions of life’s events, and it promises greater happiness.
The forgiving heart is magical. My whole life will undergo a dynamic change
when I develop a forgiving heart.” (From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for
Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.)
I was especially struck by the words, “First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them.”
I struggle with forgiving the man that I was. I did so many stupid, harmful things to myself and many others. The fallout from those decisions haunts me and others to this very day. I will go to my grave grieving over these things.
Or will I? Grieving is good, if it leads to real repentance and a better, kinder way of living. But grief is not good, in and of itself. I am not the man I used to be, no matter what I or anyone else thinks about the matter.
But I still struggle with self-forgiveness. Partly, this may be caused by the fact that I don’t see self-forgiveness taught in the Bible. Yes, God forgives. Sometimes, other people forgive. I am to forgive others. Yes, yes, and yes. But where in the Bible does it say anything about self-forgiveness?
The problem with asking hard questions is that sometimes you get even harder answers. This was the case when I asked the question about biblical self-forgiveness.
A verse came to mind. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13 | NIV).
I suspect that I am a someone. I suspect that we are all someones.
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