“On Staying in Your Own Lane”
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
(Matthew 7:1–5 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”
(Romans 14:13–19 The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
At the 12-step meeting I attended at noon, someone proposed the top “staying in your own lane.” This was highly ironic, because I had biked down to the meeting. There was a nice, wide bike lane, but apparently it wasn’t quite wide enough to suit me. I veered over to the left a little, just as an SUV was passing. Almost getting out of my own lane nearly cost me my life.
Even when staying in my own lane is not a matter of life and death, it is still important. When I am not attending to my own affairs, when I am meddling in things that do not pertain to me, I end up creating irritation in others. Furthermore, when I am “working” (can it even be called “working”??) on other people’s issues, I am not working on my own. That’s the main reason that I meddle and judge: to keep me from having to face my own issues.
The Scriptures with which I began this post—one from Jesus, and the other from the Apostle Paul—tell us that we’ve got no business judging others. Judging others is one form that not staying in my lane takes.
I used to think of myself as not being very judgmental. Then, I began to work on my own profound issues. Suddenly I discovered that one of things I needed to work on first was being judgmental. I was using the real and perceived failings and struggles of others as a drug to medicate my own unwillingness to change the one person I could change: me!
I’ve decided that I will need to remind myself many times each day to stay in my own lane. The acronym SIYOL! is going to be one of my slogans from here on out: Stay in your own lane!
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