“Regrets: The Good, the Bad, and the Just Plain Ugly”
“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” (Philippians 3:12-16, English Standard Version)
Paul was a person who had a past. Specifically, he had murdered Christians. He later became on, and often mentioned his persecution of the early church. Yes, Paul had a few regrets. But based on the Scripture that leads off this post, I would say that, even though he had regrets, Paul was determined not to let those regrets have him.
I struggle with regrets all the time. So, in addition to rereading this passage from Philippians, I decided to do a bit of online “research”. My first stop was a popularly written, helpful article in Psychology Today (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201205/the-psychology-regret, accessed 09-05-2021).
Interestingly, the author of this article pointed out that regrets can be good. As a recovering addict, I was especially struck by the following sentence, under the positive functions of regret: “Regret is a major reason why addicts get into recovery.” Yes indeed!
However, the article also points out that regret can be very bad. They can destroy us emotionally. One guy, who almost always played the same number in the lottery, did not do so one day. That was the day his usual number was the winner. He ended up with so much regret that he took his own life.
Most of us are probably not suicidal in our regrets, but our regrets can seriously compromise our ability to live in and to enjoy the present. If you know someone who is filled with regret, you know someone who is not any fun to be around. Regrets make a person uglier than they need to be.
Part of the tag line for Andy Stanley’s “Your Move” podcasts is that he wants to help us “make better decisions and live with fewer regrets.” That is a wonderful goal!
So, here is my goal for this and every day: I am going to make good decisions today, so that I am not birthing new regrets for tomorrow. Can’t do anything about the past, except learn from it. But I can, by God’s grace, do a lot about the present and the future.
No regrets!
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