“Reflections on Being Married Fifty Years”
Today my wife and I have been married for fifty years. What on earth has kept us together?!?
Nothing. At least, nothing on earth has kept us together. But there is Heaven and Heaven’s God. Here’s the deal. My wife has been able to be patient with and forgiving of my very real and very serious character defects. I am trying hard to refrain from giving her any further reasons to forgive, but trying hard doesn’t mean that I always get it right. She has been able to be patient and forgiving because she knows a heavenly Father who is patient and forgiving. Easy, no. Possible, yes.
Also, she has had this intuition since we were dating that there is more goodness in me than I sometimes manifest. I’ve begun to suspect that she might be right. There is a verse in the Bible that says that God calls things that don’t exist as if they did—and actually brings those things into existence (Romans 4:17). While the verse originally had Abraham in mind, it seems to me to be capable of broader application. Just as in creation God called order out of chaos and something out of nothing, so God calls things that don’t exist into existence. And often, God uses human beings to do this miraculous thing. For me, Sharon was a miracle and a miracle worker.
Now, have I contributed to the longevity of our marriage as well? I certainly hope so. I can think of at least one thing that I’ve done and continue to do for her. I appreciate her, deeply, genuinely, continually. Hopefully I’ve done more than that. However, even if it were just that, such appreciation would be valuable, I hope. And I think that God is the one who helps me to be thankful for many things and people, but especially the miracle that is Sharon.
So, there it is, my brief principles for a good, long-lasting marriage—patience, forgiveness, seeing goodness in the other person, even when it is difficult, gratitude. It is not a magic formula. It’s way better than magic. It’s a prescription for a miracle.
I love you, sweetheart.
Recent Comments