EMPTYING MYSELF OF CROTCHETS

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were talking about how I used to be “young and crotchety.”  In other words, I’m a bit better nowadays at being flexible, not overly invested in some of my little thises and thats.  I am, thusly, less crotchety and easier to get along with.

So, I decided to look up the word “crotchety.”  I came up with many definitions, some of them pretty gross, and some interesting, but irrelevant to my search.  However, I also discovered (or concocted?) an interesting connection.  To be crotchety means to be “full of crotchets.”

But, of course, I did not know what a crotchet was.  And how would I know if I was full of them, if I didn’t even know what one was.

A crotchet is a personal preference.  Merriam Webster on line lists the following as part of their definition of “crotchet”: “a highly individual and usually eccentric opinion or preference . . . .”

So, I am now on a one-man crusade to bring back the obsolete phrase “full of crotchets.”  (However, use it mainly on yourself, rather than on others.  If you use it to insult others, you may simply make them more crotchety.)

Being full of highly individual opinions or preferences guarantees that a person will be crotchety.

But aren’t we entitled to our own opinions?

Perhaps, but here is the question: Do most things really require us to have opinions?  Most importantly, do my personal opinions do me or anyone else any good?   Or, do my crotchets simply make me and other people more crotchety?  (And yes, crotchets are most definitely highly contagious.  They are airborne viruses of the soul.)

What opinions am I full of about how my wife should be, about food, about the use of time, etc.?  Lots!

How do I empty myself of these crotches?  I just googled the antonym of “crotchets.”  Not much was helpful.

However, it occurs to me that in order to empty myself of crotchets, I have to do at least three things.

First, I need to be aware of the highly superfluous nature of most of my preferences.  If I am aware of my personal opinions and preferences, that is at least a beginning.

Second, I need to refuse to baptize my opinions and rename them “needs” or “essentials.”  They are what they are: crotchets.

Third, I need to be willing to try new ideas, new foods, new places, new people.  Who knows?  I may find that my own life is enriched, as well as those of others.  In any case, I will be less crotchety.

Years ago, a friend of mine used to pray, “Lord, deliver us from our opinions.”  It is a good prayer.  Perhaps I should pray it more often!

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