“Of Fathers Day and Regrets”
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Father’s Day: Oh God, how I hate this day!
It is not that I hated my children or being a father. But I hate the kind of father I was.
Of course, I helped to give them life and I helped keep them alive. However, even there, my wife did all the heavy lifting. I could have been, should have been, so much more.
Today, I sent my 12-step affirmation to my friend Will. It goes like this:
Today, by God’s grace, I am celebrating the memory of my own earthly father, the “fatherhood” of all who have mentored me over the years, and God’s perfect fatherliness. I am also encouraging other fathers today.
It is easy to say, but difficult to stay with these things. Regret is easy—and deadly. I am eaten up with regrets.
Will even Heaven heal me?
. . .
And the answer is a resounding “YES!” I went for an early morning bike ride in my community just as the sun was coming up. Several things occurred to me.
One was that regrets are absolutely useless. They accomplish precisely nothing. Less than nothing! They sap my energy, and keep me from living a loving life. Jesus cursed a fig tree that wasn’t producing any figs. Apparently, uselessness is not the sort of thing that Jesus was willing to put up with. Needing forgiveness? Yes, Jesus could handle that! Uselessness? No!
Regrets are also dangerous. As I was riding my bike, I thought to myself that regrets were a lot like looking back while riding a bike. So, I tried an experiment. While continuing to ride my bike, I looked back for a few seconds . . . and almost ran into a parked car.
Finally, regrets dishonor God. Do I really think that God can’t forgive me? The Old Testament indicates that God can and does. The New Testament demonstrates this at the cross. My regrets are, in fact, a form of atheism.
Then, I got ready and went to church. The pastor talked about consumerism (he is against it), versus having “enough” (which he is for). It was a good sermon, but the very last thing he said was what nailed me and, at the same moment, set me free. He was talking about 4 things we could do in order to know that we had enough.
- We need to realize that the secret to contentment is Jesus.
- We need to stop looking around and start looking up.
- We need to focus more on the “Do’s” than the “Don’ts”.
- We need to stop living in the Shoulda-Coulda-Woudas.
I realized that I had been living with regrets all my life, and that it was time to kick them out and change the locks. This has been done.
Of course, I have no illusions. Regrets will try to sneak back in again. However, I’ve decided that whenever they do, I’ll let Jesus answer the door. He’ll know how to handle such intruders. Who needs a 38, when you got Jesus?!
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