“Of Anger, Being Late, Dreams, and Faith”

On July 19, 2018 by Dteb With 0 Comments - down to earth believer

I had a dream in which I was very angry.  This guy whom I thought my wife and I were helping out (for free, no less) yelled at us—after we had helped him—for not being on time.  We were supposed to be there at 4:30, and we had shown up at 3:08.  When I asked the man about those times, he repeated those times, and then I repeated those times, but he still didn’t realize how irrational and unfair his fear was.  I was furious.

Waking up furious is not a good thing.

However, I have a lovely painted rock on my desk that says, “Just Breathe.”  Right.

A friend of mine who is a psychologist said to me one time that some psychologists think that all of the characters in a dream are different parts of ourselves.  Certainly, I have an angry, irrational self.  In fact, I am often angry with myself for being such an angry self!  And I most certainly struggle with being on time.

So, after my unsettling dream, I get out of bed, go to the bathroom, put on the coffee, and make my bed.  I open my You Version app on my phone.  The verse for today is Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”  I could definitely use some wisdom (and instruction) when it comes to managing my anger and being on time.

My 3-minute retreat from the Jesuits had a meditation that was based on Romans 5:1: “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  I looked at this verse in the Greek.  The verb “we have” is a present tense, which suggests an ongoing reality.  We continually have peace through our faith in Jesus Christ.

So, why don’t I have continual peace, even when I’m asleep?  It is probably because I don’t really believe, deeply enough, that Jesus has got this, whatever “this” may be.

Of course, I take some consolation from the fact that Paul writes Romans 5:1 to people who are already believers.  Why did he need to do that?  Likely because they were so prone to forget it!  And so am I.

So, I enter my sixth day in a row with a conscious sense that God and I will go through this day together.  However, I also enter the day with the awareness that I am prone to be angry and late.

In a little while, I will be playing softball in the senior league that I’m in.  Getting angry is definitely possible.  We may be a bunch of old guys, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t get as angry with ourselves or others as a bunch of twelve-year-olds.

But I’ve been forewarned.

I think this journal entry has become today’s blog post, so I need to take care of posting it.  Otherwise, I might be late for my pre-game warm-up routine!  And that would make me angry!

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