“PRETEND”
There are times for saying just how badly you hurt. I do not deny that.
On the other hand, there are also times for pretending.
In 12-step meetings and literature, we often spout off clichés. One of my favorites is “Fake it ’til you make it.”
I didn’t used to like it, no, not even a little bit. But I figured that I would try it once in a while, and you’ll never believe what happened: It worked!
I am more than a bit concerned about some rather alarming physical symptoms I’m having right now. Loss of appetite and weight, low hemoglobin, generalized pain—these are a concern. I’ve been lying around and sleeping a lot . . ., and complaining a lot, too.
However, today I decided to try something else. I decided to pretend that I had plenty of energy, enough energy to accomplish everything I needed to do.
I’m not sure that I got everything I wanted to do done, but I’m sure that I got a lot more done than I’ve been doing. Yes, I did take a nap, but not before I had worked diligently for most of the day.
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve already been to the doctor, and plan to follow up. I’m going to have a full physical. I am not in denial.
But faking, at least in the 12-step sense, is not denial. Rather, it is an affirmation that neither the past nor the present has to determine my future. A Nat King Cole song that I liked a lot when I was a kid still wears well, I think.
“Pretend”
“Pretend you’re happy when you’re blue
It isn’t very hard to do
And you’ll find happiness without an end
Whenever you pretend
Remember anyone can dream
And nothing’s as bad as it may seem
The little things you haven’t got could be a lot if you pretend
You’ll find a love you can share
One you can call all your own
Just close your eyes she’ll be there
You’ll never be alone
And if you sing this melody
You’ll be pretending just like me
The world is mine it can be yours my friend
So why don’t you pretend?” (Nat King Cole)
So, if you’re having some alarming physical symptoms, by all means go to the doctor. If you are troubled mentally or emotionally, get some counseling. Going on meds have helped many of my friends. And, if there really is a God, and if God loves you deeply, by all means don’t leave God out of your cocktail of healthy realities.
But, along with other appropriate responses, try going the childhood route and play pretend. It’s fun and sometimes it works!
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